Sex and Taxis

Sex is one of the greatest mysteries.  Is it for recreation or procreation?  It is a great recreational activity that you can do with a lover, leaving you with a short term natural high.  And it can implant a son or a daughter that can lead to a lifetime of joy and fulfilment.  I’m no sexologist philosopher or scientist but I think it is both for recreation and procreation.

Sex and taxis often go hand and hand.  The average punter mostly catches taxis when they are full of alcohol.  Alcohol, as Shakespeare said, increases the desire for sex, but not the performance.  It is easy, therefore, to see the link between sex and taxis.  

People rarely have sex in taxis, at least that is my experience.  However, making out or French kissing is as common in taxis as an Indian is driving one.  Steve in TX13 hates it.  He can’t stand it.  As soon as he hears make out noises coming from the back, he pulls over and lectures them:

“Hey, you two, how would you like it if you were me having to listen to you two make out?  It aint fair (fare) people.  Stop it.  I don’t care what the fuck you do when you get home but while you are in my taxi you can just hold hands.” 

Personally, I think Steve is being a little over the top.  That first make out in a taxi could be the beginning of a fruitful and long lasting relationship.  He could be stamping out love by his actions.  Maybe they don’t make out in a taxi not realising that that they were both great kissers, sober up by the time they get home, and end up sleeping in separate beds.  

I’m fascinated by people making out in taxis.  Nine times out of 10 it is a couple who met that night and the guy (and it can be the girl) has picked up.  I give each of them a rating out of ten.  In most cases the guy is about a 3 out of 10 and the girl is at least an 8 out of 10. From what I can surmise, the women are attracted to confident and wealthy men, no matter their looks.

Moving on to the final story.  It is about a former taxi driver who is now a taxi company employee belting on about the etiquette of being a taxi driver.  Once I tell the story you will understand why when I hear him belting on about etiquette, I find it a little hard to take his bullshit.  One time this taxi company employee, whom I’ll call Gary, picked up a teenager from Civic who asked to be driven to Tuggeranong.  She told Gary that her Mum would pay for the fare when they got to Tuggeraong.  When they got to Tuggeranong, the Mum came out and said she didn’t have any money but would let Gary feel her tits for the fare.  The Mum wasn’t exactly a MILF so Gary refused and counter offered with a request for a shag.  The Mum agreed and Gary shagged that Mum who smelled of cheap bourbon and cigarettes for the fare.